My coolest brothers!

Yeah, i had two brothers who took real good care of me when I was a toddler. They where 2 and 4 years older than me and we grew in to be three brothers that stood up for eachother. When it came to brawls we wiped the floor with everyone. From i was 8 and up to 1991 when my oldest brother died in a carcrash. He was only 32 when he passed. 10 months later my other brother died of alcohol poisining. He was only 31 when he passed. Before these tragic events we where totally in control when we showed up. Every time someone came and asked for help we helped them. We fixed bikes and cars. We painted for the neighbours. Fences and houses. We protected the children in the street. Helped them with their bikes and learned them to ride. Went grocerie shopping for the old ones who couldn’t. We tried to set our footprint on this planet but nobody saw it. Nobody cared. Today it is all forgotten. Nobody remembers what we did. But I do. I remember like it was yesterday. I remember the two coolest brothers a man could ever have. My two guardien angels. I am proud of them both and I wish I was half as good as they where. I miss them so much every day. Sometimes when I speak i can hear in my voice the sound of my brothers. Makes me laugh! And i remember them so vividly! It gives me goosebumps sometimes. But my love for them are still strong and it will always be that strong. I look at pictures of them and I cry because I miss them. Hearing them speak and argue! 1991 and 1992 was the worst years of my life. I lost my two brothers and my world crashed totally. And I blamed them all for it. My world became a dark one for the next 35 years. But I found my way out again. I found the ligth who guided me out. My wife! No doctors and no help from anyone but my wife and I. We stood in the middle of a tweakerspree lasted 47 years but we took our lives back and have been clean ever since. Just the two of us sharing the same willpower to live sober and we did it! Like we been awakened up from a long slumber. Looking back gives me understanding and experience from that life. I understand why I lived that life. My two most powerful beacons was blown out. My two coolest brothers was lost. Thats why! So I lost myself until my wife found me, shared the dark life for 16 years and together we took it all back and embraces it every day. I love my wife! But I will always love my coolest brothers above all.